What the What?

Are you a Santa doll expert? Even better, are you a naked Santa doll expert? Do you know when this lovely Fibre-Craft naked Santa doll (Model No. 3104) was first sold? Given that it was manufactured in Hong Kong, and is weird, frightening and wrapped in crinkly plastic, my guess is that it is another fine product of the 1970s, but that's only a guess. If you have an answer, please let us know at xmasinthe70s [at] yahoo.com.

I was going to ask why Santa is bottomless, but then I decided I don't really want to know.

-- Joal R.

Deck the Halls with Nylon, 1972

"Mom, it's just not Christmas around here until we hang your discarded pantyhose containers on the tree."

--Joal R.

A Dead Santa of a "Simpler Time"

Last week, Glenn Beck cried for a "simpler time" in America. In doing so, he joined a long line of misty-eyed nostalgics who likewise have pined. Considering the federal government didn't make equal rights a formal policy until 1964, I've always been curious as to when exactly this "simpler time" occurred -- and who exactly got to enjoy it. In this regard, I have to give Beck credit: He defined his terms. To the TV star, our nation's "simpler time" occurred somewhere between the 1975 "Times of Your Life" Kodak campaign, and the 1979 Mean Joe Greene Coca-Cola commercial. (Seriously. Watch the clip.)

Now, I must say, I like people, like Beck, who remember the 1970s as a "simpler time." This is because they make me laugh. Of course, they also make me wonder if they actually remember the 1970s. The real 1970s. The decade that, like any decade, was good and bad and weird and great and awful. The decade that killed off Old Saint Nick -- and a shamefully malnourished one at that -- just in time for the holidays, not to mention the pages of Justice League of America No. 110.

Merry Christmas, kids! Now go outside, and play with your lawn darts! And remember, or better yet, forget, in 30 years, this'll all seem "simpler!"

--Joal R.

TV Guide, Christmas 1977

Apparently, even Santa was troubled by the pending cable revolution...

Not sure if the script is legible, but it says, "Christmas is more than an Orange..."

Now, why it says "Christmas is more than an Orange," I have no idea. Then again, I'm not a theologian. Or a citrus farmer.

It's not clear from this classic TV Guide "Close Up," but this particular All in the Family -- about a deadly hate crime against a female impersonator, and involving a main character's renunciation of faith -- aired on Christmas night.

Yes, Virginia, broadcast-network TV used to have (how should we say?) Sno Balls.

Not to mention the will -- and the audience -- to air all-new episodes on a major holiday.

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Just a reminder, if you have snapshots or other artifacts from Christmas in the 1970s that you'd like to share, send 'em our way at: xmasinthe70s [at] yahoo [dot] com.

--Joal R.

Ruh-Roh, 1978

I picked this up a few years ago at a thrift store. The collection is nothing special (Roger Whittaker, Arthur Fiedler, Robert Shaw Chorale, zzz...) The dog with the Alpo face is awesome.

--Joal R.

Snapshot No. 6: The Year I Got an Oscar

As I've written, despite my interest in Christmas in the 1970s, I don't have a lot of pictures of my own 1970s Christmastime self.

Which makes the shot to your left all the more precious.

It's from 1978. I'm 11. I'm holding a bag of off-market Bubble Yum, and an Oscar Goldman "action" figure. My father's standing behind me, and my older brother's to the left, but I cropped them out because, well, would you really be able to see them anyway? It is not often, after all, one is confronted by such stunning dorkiness.

And, no, I'm not talking about Oscar Goldman. I would never, ever trash talk a doll that came armed with an exploding suitcase.

--Joal R.

Snapshot No. 5: Toy Magic Under the Tree!

David Tedeschi recently submitted some fantastic shots of Christmas 1977, and they're too good not to at least share one.

This shot is literally a "who's who" of cool 1970s toys. We have Maskatron, evil enemy of the Six Million Dollar Man (still in its cardboard cell, no less), a Mego Batman Bat Lab (a repurposed Volkswagen bus, actually), Fisher-Price Adventure People sets, Mego comic action heroes, a Batmobile Exploding Bridge -- and is that a boxed Stretch Armstrong, I see, too? Just amazing stuff. Expect more from David in the near future.

If you have a photo and story to share, please drop us a line at xmasinthe70s [at] yahoo.com.

--Brian H.